What's Love?

You will know that there must be something there when you look at your partner, when he/she smiles, and you smile too.

And definitely there must be something there that made you give up something you need or like so that your partner can benefit from it.

There is also something at work too when you purposely not doing it as you might end up hurting your partner.

Some of us will comment that it's a chemical, a biological process; that it's a unique from the pleasure you get from sinking your teeth into a scoop of moist chocolate lava fondue.

Even if it is a chemical process or not, love for many of us is still mysterious, though eons of practice have taught us some of the profound truths of deeply caring for someone....or in some cases, an exceptionally well-made dessert.

Love is not about needing someone to be there, but to be there for that person.

Love is not about how much time you've spent together, but how well you two seem to "fit"

Love is not just about being together. It's also about letting it go.

As we learn more and more about love, we came to realise that it's not just a flutter of emotions, Byronesue sonnets, passionate kisses or warm embraces. In fact, there's so much pain, heartache and sacrifice.

You cannot compel love. You cannot hurt love and expect it to fly into your embraces. Nor can you trap it in a jar like a butterfly that will no doubt soon die. You can only be loving, and hope that someone can see that love and appreciate it.

Love is infinite. It does not lessen even you're giving it away freely. In fact, the more you share, the more you create and receive.

"Love" is not a word you say to someone if it's not love you feel. And if it truly is love, then it need not be spoken at all!

To love someone is to want the best for some, even if that "best" thing isn't you.

Love can hurt and love can heal. Ther results are entirely up to you.

So make your relationships richer and more rewarding with this deeper defination of love. Even if you're alone at the moment, you've always got that chocolate lava fondue!!

I'll also like to say i'm sorry to someone that I loved so much before and lost her. I wished her that she will always remain happy and healthy. Though we are not meant together, I will be happy when she's happy

Jealousy is Destructively

Phthonus, the God of Jealousy from Greek mythology, when in matters of love, had caused much death and violence based on his preoccupations. He had many wives but killed each one eventually, on suspicion of adultery.

Myth, perhaps, but its essence is no less true to real life.

Jealousy, a naturally occuring emotion is evident when the time an infant gains an understanding of his/her environment. Siblings are routinely jealous of one another and quarrel over toys, things and even their parents' affection. Even in adulthood, and as we come into romantic relationships, jealousy does hang around conspicuously, analysing the smallest details, and coming up with the most ludicrous conspiracy theory.

The most innoncent acts can be misconstrued to be events wholly opposite of what it truly meant. And many a time, couples are torn apart due to jealous suspicion.

Jealousy have the strongest control over a person who is chiefly insecure about him/herself. He/She feels that he/she will never be good enough and because he's/she's will always be too weak to improve him/herself. He/She might look for things that reinforce his/her negative belief!!

You might have come across.."She doesn't love me anymore as i'm unattractive", He's so romantic while i'm just boring!", He's richer than I'm, that's why she's going after him!"

The list can go on and on. And in the minds of jealous people, it does. They're so preoccupied with what others have that they conveniently forget and overlook what they have, or what they can work to achieve.

Jealousy is weak and destructive and it must not have room in our lives.

If you are currently managing your feelings of jealousy, reflect on yourself...where does this jealousy come from?

Is it a really warranted? Or could it be thought out?

Critically assess yourself. Is jealousy is just another easy and convenient way of excusing from helping to improve the relationship?

Even worse than a casino game, you're ALWAYS a loser when you are playing with jealousy. Because when you are jealous, you are pitting against yourself. You are betting that your opponent is better than you.

See jealousy for what it really is and be better than it.

Kickstart Your Energy Level

You always see that individual - the one who's always in a sunshine mood; he smiles and laughs all the time, he's incredibly efficient at work, has many friends, and seems to have plenty of energy. You love to hate him.

You, on the other, don't rest well, feel lethargic most of the time, don't smile or laugh very much at all; you've work building up, and when you think of picking up that paper or magazinem you find yourself reaching for the remote instead.

I know. I've been there. We all experience from bouts of low energy and motivation from time to time. For most of us, it's due to that we've let the humdrum of work to halt us into a state of inertia. Or it's due to that we've indulged our laziness so often, we've lost our self discipline. Maybe a series of setbacks has dealt a heavy blow to our route for happiness and success.

Whatever the reason, if you're feeling tired and lacking that spring in your step, here are a few ways to kickstart your energy level.

If your mind is being tied down by a seemingless endless array of anxieties, do some writing. Writing everything that comes to your mind, things to do, things to think about, things that bother you. This gives you clarity. You'll perhaps be able to come out with solutions more easily or even find that your problems are not that un-manageable after all.

And, stop talking to yourself the way an angry parent might berate a child. Negetive self talk is the easiest way to undermine your opportunities for self improvement. Instead, ask yourself why things aren't happening the way you want them to, and what you can do to change things.

For most of us, the key reason why we're feeling restless is due to we're not getting ample rest or not getting sufficient sleep. To improve the quality of your sleep, reduce on caffeine intake, especially in the evenings. And go to bed when you feel sleepy, not because you have to meet the mandatory 7 to 8 hours before you need to wake up for work. Even a few hours of good nap is better than 10 hours of tossing and turning on bed. Your body will naturally adjust anyway, and in no time, you'll be chalking up the hours your body needs to feel rested.

Also, you know what's the best way to instant recharge a weary body? Irrational as it may seems, it's not more rest, but more action!! Go for a jog or a brisk walk. The boost of endorphins and oxygen will do wonders for your energy level. When avid joggers claim that a run before work makes them feel great for the rest of the day, they're not joking. The first step is always challenging, but when you've started it, you'll be one of the converted yourself and will be amazed of the results.

Identifying Ways to Unblock Your Flow

Our enthusiasm for life is like the circulation of blood in our body. After a while, the unhealthy foods we consume block the arteries and prevent the efficient flow of blood. Pretty much similar to the flow of life get clogged up every once in a while due to unresolved worries, grudges, unfulfilling relationships, monotony, disappointments and so on....

Our lives can become full of debris and goo that interrupt the flow of a purposeful, passionate and fulfilling life. If you've been feeling a little deflated lately, a little out of sorts and wondering where your zest went to, your flow could be clogged up.

Here are the main sources of junk that can hinder your flow. See if you can identify them in your life and removing them to clear your flow.

Limiting Belief -Have you ever stopped and listened to what's going on inside your head? Are you living your life according what you've been told you "should"? Are you listening to your inner voice or the chants of others?

Draining Relationships - Are you happy in your relationship? Are you loved for who you are and do you love without condition? Everyone deserves emotional fulfillment. Developing balanced partnerships adds quality of life.

Career Dissatisfaction - Do you get up every day excited to face another promising day at work? Or are you dragging yourself through each day at the office? Work takes up a significant chunk of our lives, so if you're dreading it, it's time to examine why and how you could improve things.

Scarcity thinking - Do you feel like you are just surviving; that at the end of each day, you barely have the time, money, emotions, or energy to do anything else? Get rid of this cycle! The Universe is abundnant and can provide for you. Shift your perspective and attract what you want in your life.

The things you are putting up with - What are you tolerating that continues draining your energy? Tolerating is different from being flexible. Take a good look at the areas in your life where you feel perturbated. Consider the possibility that what you 'put up with' may be draining the energy that you could be using to live a happier live!

Start clearing the goo and gunk from your drain, and you'll experience more energy, more passion, and a life that flows smoothly and with clear intention.

The Power to Walk Away

How do you manage potentially explosive situations? Where tempers are beginning to flare, tensions are steadily rising and hot buttons are being pushed?

What happens with many people is that they remain in the scenerio, either hoping to talk things over calmly, or to make their intention emphatically clear. But this can only resolve if the other individual is willing to listen. But sometimes, the other person can be willfully challenging. They can be persons who get off on pushing your hot buttons.

What happens then? A likely scenerio is that like a bee to a flower, you continue to engage in the conversation, the other party continues to gall you, and *snap!*, the last straw breaks you. At this junction, when self control is lost, you may raise threats, utter scathing remarks, or direct potshots that you immediately regret.

In a social setting, you may end up looking rash, petty and uncouth. In a business or corporate setting, you may appear to be antagonistic and quick tempered. In a personal context, you may end up really hurting a loved one. In the long term, angry outbursts will strained or soured any relationship.

If you find yourself quite unintentionally getting yourself into potentially explosive situations, how can you avoid actually from exploding?

Of course, you walk away...

A seemingly simple to do, but something that can be extremely challenging to put it in practice, especially when you felt that you've been seriously misunderstood. You'd want to have it out and explain your position until the other party understands, right?

That's what keeps you there. That's what makes you reiterate your arguments again and again until they begin to sound meaningless. In this situation, you're at a losing end; it's simply more sensible and rationale to walk away.

Do you have the power to walk away from possibly-explosive scenarios? Are you able to postpone defending yourself to another appropriate time? Can you maintain your cool and refrain from saying or doing something you'll regret later?

Becasue when you matter about winning in such situations, you lose. You're the one who feels the pressure, you're the one who seems antagonistic and defensive. It will be difficult at the start, but practice walking away and you'll understand just how powerful it can be in defusing explosive situations and even persuade other to see things your way.

Fixing Your Bond With Your Partner

All couples do have differences in certain extent and in different manners, but the differences between those that last and those that break apart is the ability to fixing the subsequent damage.

Couples are bonded by love but sundered by their weak skills at relationship maintenance. Love is a dynamic, fulfilling and spontaneous emotion and we don't need to learn how to love someone (not in the starting stage); it just comes out within you. But not many of us actually know how to manage and handle the ill feelings, emotional dis-engagement, resentment and cold wars coming from conflicts. Given ample time to accumulate and simmer, these insidious emotions could wreck any blissful couple.

Thta's why learning and applying the skills to fixing the damage done by quarrels are so important in a marriage. In life, we cannot avoid hurt but we can learn how to heal and move on from it.

Most of us go into relationships "blind", "dumb" and "deaf", which is, not fully understanding what's needed to build a fulfulling lasting bond. We're sometimes bounded by out follies; as we all have our bad days, stress from external sources or judging a scenerio poorly. Rather than ignoring the issue, or your partner or allowing the anger to seethe, trying repairing it.

If you feel that you have more clarity for the offender, don't hold onto it stubbornly. And if your partner is the more evidently at fault; don't sit on the high horse, be prepared to accept any apology or atonement. You know that it might not be easy to admit you are wrong, and if your partner does it sincerely, that demonstrates that he/she truly cares about you and wants to mend bridges.

Here are some steps you can start with to fix the damage resulting from a bad clash.

First; Apologise. A simple and heartfelt apology can sometimes do wonders and miracles for a relationship. Beware of overdoing it though; too many too often often feels insincere and can backfire on you.

Then, attempt to confiding your feelings. Very often, conflict and misunderstandings occurs because of deep insecurities, latent fears and assumed judgement. Your partner is more likely to emphathise with you if he/she knew these feelings. Obviously, they can't tell unless you share with them. For example, you may just be worried about him/her when you lost your cool. Express these concerns so as to build better understanding and bonding.

Managing Adversity

If you are in a challenging or uncomfortable scenerio, you have only 3 choices:

1. Wait for the event (scenerio) to change
2. Change the event
3. Change your response to the event

Let's start with the Option 1. You need to know if the scenerio is likely to change on itself. If not, this is clearly not an option for you. Some scenerios, no matter, how short term it may be, the answer may just be to wait them out. While you are waiting for the scenerio to change though, you might want to think about if you can go for option 2 - change the event.

The con with this solution is that even if you leave your current event and procee to the next one, you will still carry it with you. This is the time to wonder if you are perhaps part of the problem? Are you habitually trapping yourself in certain challenging scenerios? If relationships aren't working out for you, how much responsibility should you bear? Of course, most events are simply out of our control; there's nothing we can do to alter it.

Which by then, brings us to option 3, the most effective and self empowering option -Change the respone to the event. The advantage of this option is unlike the first two, this one is always open to you. You are the focal point. Strangely enough, when you focus on yourself, you have more influence on things outside you. On other words, when you choose to look at things in a different angle, the things you are looking at, change (or at least appear different) with your mindset.

We live in a culture which tends to lay blame on external factor for our woes - It's God, it's government, it's our superior, our co-worker, our parents, our siblings and perhaps even the climate. Anything it seems, except ourselves.

In order to stop blaming and start improving your life, you must change the meaning of the event, i.e change the response. Instead of seeing it as something that was 'done to you', you can choose to view it as a neutral event, nothing personal, or even a positive experience that you can learn something from. Change your language to reinforce this change of meaning. Instead of asking, " Why did this have to happen to me?" Ask yourself, "What lesson can I take away from this?"

By changing the context you give to the event and changing the words you use, you'll discover that you have the power to respond in any number of ways, and whatever way you choose you want it to conclude, not just the knee jerk reactions resulting from your past. You'll be able to choose new responses to old problems by breaking habitual patterns that have been limiting your growth and progress.