Effective Listening (Part 1)

To communicate effectively, effective listening is required. In fact, oftentimes, listening is more important in speaking so as to negotiate well with others. Many salespeople learn through the school of hard knocks - they make flowery presentations, only to be blown off without so much as a second thought. But if they had only let their customers tell them what their problems or needs were, they would probably be able to sell them anything.

Listening is really quite simple, yet most of us haven't mastered it. Why? I think it's probably because of the connotations of keeping silent. To many people, it implies impassivity, being lost for words, and etc. Also, it's hard keeping your mouth shut. Everyone wants to be heard. So in the cacophony of voices, nobody does. But what if you were one of the few who listened attentively to what others had to say? What valuable information would you gain?

So where do you begin if you truly want to develop your listening skills?

Firstly, nurture the desire to listen. Accept the fact that listening to others is your strength and forte. Given the chance, the other person will tell you everything you need to know. Try this out. Very soon, you'll find yourself hanging on every word that flies out of other people's mouths.

Always allow the other person do most of the talking. This is a simple sum of mathematics. Seek to listen about 70% of the time and talk 30% of the time.

Now, the theory is simple enough, but in practice, you'll find that at many points during the other party's speech, you'll feel the desire to interrupt. There will be points you disagree with and you'll think that you should speak then or forever hold your peace. That's not always true. In fact, most of the time, we regret saying the words we say. So always resist the temptation to interrupt. When you give in, all you do is disrupt the free-flowing info.

Learn to listen actively with a heart. Now this is essential, since hearing someone is vastly different from listening to someone. And people can tell the difference. Most people spend so much time regaling others with their stories that they're keenly aware when the audience is sleeping with their eyes open. And if there's something worse than not listening, it's pretending to listen. Then you've lost your prospect forever.

The art of listening is a very intricate one. It takes an expert communicator to do it well and convincingly too. I will continue to share tips on how to hone your listening skills.