Managing Negativity

Our lives these days are filled with negativity - terrorism, disease, natural disasters, war. The messages we receive on a daily basis mostly aim to induce a feeling of dissatisfaction, envy or fear. As life gets more stressful, we encounter more negativity from our family, friends and co-workers.

How we deal with this information is up to us. We can either absorb it all and allow it to negatively dominate our thoughts, emotions, attitudes and our day-to-day lives. Or we can view these events as an unfortunate but unavoidable part of our existence and concentrate on those things we can do something about - such as our own personal lives and how we can positively influence ourselves and those around us.

The more we focus on the "bad" or negative things around us, the more our thoughts and behaviour work towards an undesirable outcome. But if we change our focus to the good things of life - the positives - there is an above average chance that things will get much better. Negatives fill our emotional bucket quickly and before we know it, they are spilling all over ourselves and those around us. Isn't it far more logical to fill our bucket with positives? The people around us are sure to be much more receptive to any spillage the might occur.

If your optimism is taking a beating, try saving some time for yourself and writing down the good things in your life - the things you enjoy and appreciate. Start with the fact that you even woke up this morning, then go from there. No matter how bad your situation is, if you try just a little you'll have plenty of items on our list. Keep the list handy and add to it as you think of other things. There will always be days when your list will come in handy to give you a pick-me-up.

Be selective about what you read, watch on TV, hear on the radio and the music you listen to. Think about the information your mind is absorbing and determine whether it's really good for you. Be selective with your friends and pay attention to the conversations you are having. Is the relationship - or the conversation - based on negative words and feelings? Would you be better off changing the subject - or finding someone different to spend your time with?

And watch your "self talk". This is the imaginary conversations we have with ourselves and others, especially when there are potential conflicts on the horizon. Stop "badmouthing" the people in your life and stop "badmouthing" yourself! Every time we do that, we are reinforcing to ourselves just how miserable the world is and how unfortunate we are.