Be Responsible

How responsible are you for your life? How much power do you have over how you feel? Do you have the authority to respond successfully to what happens to you, even if it initially seems unfortunate?

How happy and successful we are depends pretty much on how empowered we feel we are to deal with life's twists and turns. Life, like the sea, is unpredictable, with its random tides and pernicious storms, but we don't necessarily have to bobble along helplessly. Whatever the direction of the tide, we can always choose to swim against it.

Claiming responsibility for our own lives is staking our ability to respond actively to the world, it's pledging our ability to do, to influence, to act, to change. It refuses to meekly bear or accept whatever is handed to us. When we don't accept responsibility for how we feel or what happens to us, we feel powerless and afraid. But when we claim that responsibility, we take that power to change our lives for the better.

For example, when you say "He made me upset", you're giving that power over your emotions to someone else. This is also known as blaming. When others perceive this kind of passive thinking in you, they very quickly learn to use that power to keep you under their foot. We often also resort to blaming because we feel helpless to change the situation and try to make ourselves feel better by attributing fault to someone or something else. When we shift the responsibility of how we feel to someone else, we're also trying to guilt that person into somehow compensating us for making us feel bad.

In any case, it's a dangerous power game that eventually isolates you from others and leaves you feeling powerless and empty.

Just think of all the times something made you upset and you thought "This is so annoying!" or "That is so frustrating!". Well, why are you choosing to feel annoyed and frustrated? Yes, choosing, because how we feel at any given moment is our own decision to feel that way. Nothing or no one can upset you if you yourself decide not to be upset.

See if you can catch yourself the next time you entertain a disempowering thought - like "She embarrassed me" or "He gets on my nerves!", "This is so infuriating!" or "That is so worrying!". Try asking yourself why you're allowing yourself to feel these negative and debilitating emotions. Take back control over your mind, over your mental state. Why are you allowing someone or something to make you upset? Train your mind to let it go.