Fixing Your Bond With Your Partner

All couples do have differences in certain extent and in different manners, but the differences between those that last and those that break apart is the ability to fixing the subsequent damage.

Couples are bonded by love but sundered by their weak skills at relationship maintenance. Love is a dynamic, fulfilling and spontaneous emotion and we don't need to learn how to love someone (not in the starting stage); it just comes out within you. But not many of us actually know how to manage and handle the ill feelings, emotional dis-engagement, resentment and cold wars coming from conflicts. Given ample time to accumulate and simmer, these insidious emotions could wreck any blissful couple.

Thta's why learning and applying the skills to fixing the damage done by quarrels are so important in a marriage. In life, we cannot avoid hurt but we can learn how to heal and move on from it.

Most of us go into relationships "blind", "dumb" and "deaf", which is, not fully understanding what's needed to build a fulfulling lasting bond. We're sometimes bounded by out follies; as we all have our bad days, stress from external sources or judging a scenerio poorly. Rather than ignoring the issue, or your partner or allowing the anger to seethe, trying repairing it.

If you feel that you have more clarity for the offender, don't hold onto it stubbornly. And if your partner is the more evidently at fault; don't sit on the high horse, be prepared to accept any apology or atonement. You know that it might not be easy to admit you are wrong, and if your partner does it sincerely, that demonstrates that he/she truly cares about you and wants to mend bridges.

Here are some steps you can start with to fix the damage resulting from a bad clash.

First; Apologise. A simple and heartfelt apology can sometimes do wonders and miracles for a relationship. Beware of overdoing it though; too many too often often feels insincere and can backfire on you.

Then, attempt to confiding your feelings. Very often, conflict and misunderstandings occurs because of deep insecurities, latent fears and assumed judgement. Your partner is more likely to emphathise with you if he/she knew these feelings. Obviously, they can't tell unless you share with them. For example, you may just be worried about him/her when you lost your cool. Express these concerns so as to build better understanding and bonding.