Don't fight

You probably know a couple or two who seem to be always fighting. Maybe your own relationship is riddled with tiffs and quarrels. Many are determined to win a verbal war that never ends. Others try to right the wrongs they have been through in the past with someone new. Unfortunately, this kind of behaviour is spiraled to failure. When we bring baggage from a former relationship into the present, all new relationships merely turn into a continuation of the past.

For some, fighting is a flame that keeps their relationships alive. It allows them to know the other cares. Unfortunately, fighting can easily become a habit, and when it does, a couple finds itself stuck. Instead of communicating effectively and addressing issues, they fall into patterns of accusation and defense. Tenderness and intimacy cannot flourish in such an environment.

So if anger and fighting seem to be the fuel that keeps your relationship going, how can you end the war?

First, you have to stop blaming. While we're pointing fingers, and making the other feel guilty, we cannot see what's really going on. We ignore the good and highlight the bad. So, instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt you, focus on what the person has done for you, the ways they have been kind.

You have to realize the terrible toll fighting is taking on your relationship. What it is impacting to your body, mind and spirit. Do you really want this? Haven't you and your partner suffered enough? Why not opt to be happy?

In choosing to be happy, very often you have to let go of the desire to be right. Expand your view and your heart. Would you want to be right but unhappy within?

The best defense against anger is feeling great about yourself. Build a good dose of self worth. Treat yourself well. Be appreciative to your partner. Make life colourful together. Hey you're a couple, remember? It can't be that challenging! Don't let anger make you lose sight of that. As we gather the courage to release that anger, not only do we find new ways of being fulfilled with our partner, our overall health improves. Many new people and experiences will go into your lives. You attract what you focus on and let it be love, desire and passion.