Embrace Your True Self (Part 2 of 2)

In our path towards self-love, self-reliance is very important. Many people, in particular, women sacrifice that in order to be, in their opinion, better mothers or wives. But not being independent ultimately opens you up to attacks and the risk of ending up helpless and alone. And many of us rely on others to give us fulfillment and validation. Would you still be happy if you were alone? Would you still believe in yourself if nobody thought you were capable of success?

Ask yourself if you are happy depending on others to make you happy. If not, make a list of goals to achieve a sense of self-validation and independence. The first thing on your list should be to accept personal responsibilities. Living your life always allowing others to make things happen for you or to make your life better puts you at the mercy of others later in life. Even within a relationship, try your best to even things out. Rewards today may turn into reproach and resentment as the years wear on.

Buddhists and Hindus believe that there is a force that works kind of like a boomerang. What you give, you will receive back. Well, whether you believe in karma or not, there's no denying that doing good feels good and doing evil ultimately corrupts the soul. So refocus your life to doing good whenever you can.

And finally, work on a protective shield around yourself. This shield allows you to evaluate any stimuli, whether it's a verbal attack or action, from a rational standpoint. It helps you skip the initial stage where most people react personally and emotionally. It creates an automatic "cooling-off" period, if you will, time for the attack to bounce off and dissipate, time for you to recharge yourself with love and reason, time for the mood to change from one of anger and resentment to one of peace.

Here’s an example. Let's say you are doing your own work minding your own business and your partner starts chiding you for something you find very inconsequential. You'll feel the instinct to react, but don't. Imagine this invisible shield all around you filled with love and protection. When things have calmed down, you'll both realize that ultimately you both love each other and it would be a pity to allow petty scuffles to strain the relationship.

The bottom line is, in order to be true to yourself, you must find time to reboot your life to become the happy, well-adjusted person lying dormant inside of you. By taking that positive step towards finding the self-love you deserve, you open yourself to happiness and self-fulfillment and become the person you ultimately want to be!