Worth Of A Relationship

When a relationship goes sour, we sometimes try to recover it, or attempt to "get things back to where to used to be". Some of our efforts may work to a extent, while others only succeed in prolonging the final throes of something that is already terminally ill.

But how do we know if a relationship is worth it? Will it bring both parties more harm in the long run by mounting a protracted and misguided rescue operation?

Here are a few things to consider:

Is your partner still in love or still interested in pursuing the relationship? Sometimes when we lose a love, we usually dwell on what used to be, not on what the relationship is currently about. Of course it was pleasant in the beginning, but that stage of the relationship is not always an accurate measure. It's best to look at what is currently happening and evaluate how or why the situation is the way it is. Are you hanging the love on a memory? Are you clinging to the relationship because you're afraid of being alone?

No matter how challenging it may for you initially, if you do breakup, the hurt WILL go away. There may be a lot of heartache, resentment and jealousy right now, but if you are willing to move forward, it will pass. Reflect on "Do I really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?". Picture what a mutually loving relationship with someone should feel like. Is it what you have now? If not, do you really want to stay and allow the chance of finding true love slip?

Are you clinging on this relationship for reasons other than love? Some people, knowingly or unknowingly, stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons, such as having a roof over their heads, having their bills paid, being afraid of loneiness or other reasons. If this is you, you must realise that co-dependent relationships will not work. If you really want to lead a fulfilling life, take the steps to become independent and self-sufficient; it can be a very empowering, incredible feeling.

Are you putting assumptions of what your partner is or is not feeling? Sometimes our "inner voices" tell us things that are not true. If the tension in your relationship is due to suspicion, speculation and second-guessing, try talking things through openly with your partner. Open communication is the best way to resolve these issues and is a necessary part of a loving relationship.

Once you have seriously considered the above, you should have a better clarity of where your relationship is headed. Remember, the end of a relationship is not the end of life. If you are not happy and quite sure things are not going to work out, its time to move forward.