As children, we collect bits and pieces of information about who we are, how the world works, and how we deal with it. As grown-ups, some of the data we collected in our childhood can prevent us from living a full and fulfilling life.
Maybe some of the people we cared about let us down, so we learnt to be suspicious of others. Perhaps our parents were too controlling, so we grew up to be indecisive and timid. Maybe we were kept in strict routines, so we became afraid of change and uncertainty. Or perhaps we were often indulged and pampered, so we grew up to expect everyone, including our partners, to give in to our demands.
I'm not putting the blame on parents. After all, they were children once too, and there isn't a child in the world that won't get wounded in some way. We may never know exactly what those wounds are, but we can be sure that our parents acted towards us according to the degree those wounds were healed or left to fester. Our parents are human too, and therefore imperfect like everyone else. Once we accept this, we can begin to forgive our parents for not meeting our expectations.
If you want to get to the source of your issues as an adult, you have to go back to the past and examine the kind of childhood you had. The path ahead will always be strewn with shattered glass until you go back and pick up the broken pieces.
Most of us have been taught to ignore the past and look to the future. But it's undeniable that our future will continue to be shaped by our past until we go back, seek out the injuries, and consciously break the stranglehold they have on us.
Only we have the power to do this, but we cannot be intimidated by the darkness that exists in our childhood. Shining a light on the hurts in our past can be painful, but ultimately, this is what frees us. This is what allows us to prevent childhood issues from repeating themselves in our adult life. By seeking out the pain, we can let it go, and move on.
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